Thinking about thinking about moving on

It's nearing the end of the semester. We're graduating at the end of May! It seems phenomenal to me that the end of our seminary studies is approaching so quickly. I have so much more to learn! I have more questions to ask! We do have coursework to complete over the summer, though, so we will be able to pack a little bit more in 'under the wire' before we move on from here. But that date is fast approaching. And what's happening after that point is at yet unknown.

I find it an exercise in trust - day after day - to be confident that there will be a good life for us after the summer. That a position will open up for us, that we will have a good place to live again, we'll make new friends, that we'll have rich and fulfilling work... it's so much easier to trust when there's something definite in place. Which kind of defeats the purpose of faith, doesn't it?

I'm also noticing that I'm starting to 'shut down' in some ways emotionally and socially in this place already. It's a defense mechanism I have - if I start shutting down now, it might not hurt so much later to say good-bye. So I invite fewer people over, go home earlier, get less emotionally involved in a conversation or committee... and I make fewer social plans. Do you know what I mean?

It's not a good plan, really. We're still here for four more months! I need these people! I have a good life here!

So.... I need to be intentional about living in the present. The present is good. The present is accessible. And the present has many gifts to offer; I need not put all my well-being into the future.

Emmaus Road Days

Sunday was all about encountering Jesus on the Emmaus Road. We heard the story, we sang the story, we participated in a dramatic contemporary rendition of the story, we meditated on the story. And it was good. The sanctuary was all set up in tables; like we were at a banquet or something. I was at one of the youth tables, and one of them commented that in ordinary worship, we're directing our attention and focus on God; in this set up we're directing our attention at each other. Now, it's not that simple (and he didn't mean it to be that simple) but there are those dimensions. The vertical and the horizontal. And something about facing each other, talking to each other about the text and singing side by side around the table gives a solid experience of church as a community of folks discerning together what the will of God is.

I had fun leading the congregation in Bryan's Emmaus Road song. The kids were dancing. I don't have Bryan's facility with the guitar, but had two guitars and an electric bass jamming with me. Ah, it's fun. I guess there's more of a 'performer' in me than I generally give myself credit for. Kendall said that when we were rehearsing before the service, I seemed awkward, wouldn't sing into the mike, and it seemed tense. But when the kids were up front, the congregation was standing and singing, I was just having a great time. I was relaxed, enjoying the song and the experience. And celebrating the chance to bring this great story to life in another way.

It seems as though I'm in a bit of a 'troubadour' phase, since I'm bringing in another song for worship next week. I'm preaching next week on Acts 9:1-19, the story of Paul's call and his encounter with Ananias. And I am bringing in a song I remember well from my childhood, written by Ken Medema. The song's called 'Sittin' by the Window Prayin'" and tells that story from the perspective of Ananias. It's a fun song, refreshing in its outlook. I won't be singing that one (I hope). If it all works out, it will be sung/played by two other members of the congregation. :)

I'm looking forward to preaching; it's been a while since I've praught. (shouldn't that be the past tense? teach, taught; preach....)

The sun is out today, the trees are blooming, and life is just good. So I'm sending out my general well-wishes to the world. :)

Six Imposssible Things Before Breakfast

It hardly seems fair that it's already Tuesday. My precious Spring Break is slipping away from me, and I've hardly gotten started on my 'list'! I was going to have the house cleaned from top to bottom by now! I was going to have written a paper and started a sermon and baked bread and called my brother and gone shopping for new running shoes and taken the car in for some repairs and ... I guess it's only been two days. And I've been tired. But I do long a bit for the impossible... sometimes.

I'm thinking about 'impossible' right now, trying to give shape to the children's story this upcoming Sunday - Easter Sunday. I want to talk about faith - that the Christian faith is rooted in something that is technically 'impossible' but that we believe to be 'possible'. I'd love some help in this endeavour....

I've got some lines from Alice in Wonderland and Cinderella bouncing about in my head:

ALICE in WONDERLAND
Alice laughed: "There's no use trying," she said; "one can't believe impossible things."

"I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

and CINDERELLA (the Disney version):

Godmother (singing): Impossible! But the world is full of zanies and fools who don't believe in sensible rules and won't believe what sensible people say..

and because these daft and dewey eyed dopes keep building up impossible hopes impossible things are happening every day!

And also this African American proverb: God makes a way where there ain't no way!

But I want to have more than just words... perhaps a song.... perhaps an action... or a story, or an example, or.... (help me, please?)

Over The Rhine

Tonight I had the great joy to be at an Over The Rhine concert in Goshen, at the gorgeous Goshen Theater. Ah, life is good. They were jamming just beautifully and they played some new stuff from an upcoming album (due August '07)... my favourite of these is an eschatological piece, mulling over the idea that when the world is reborn, the music shall be with the sound of the trumpet. The lyrics went: "The trumpet child shall play... " and expanded from there. You had to be there, I guess. But it was a good concert, that's what I can say.

sorry for the silence

It's nice to know I've been missed. I had a number of folks let me know that they missed reading my posts. I'm sorry that this one won't be too long, but I thought I'd drop a note so that people know I didn't just drop off the face of the planet.

It's been a busy couple of weeks. Good, but busy.

Two weeks ago Kendall and I had the opportunity to spend a long weekend in Ontario. We saw my cousin Caroline and her family, and spent time with family in Toronto for Saturday night-Sunday. We wanted to particularly spend quality time with the kids - and we did. We went bowling one night, swimming the next afternoon, and had time with Kendall's sister and the kids' dad, and Kendall's mom and dad, and oh, it was so good to be together. I really don't like being far apart. I couldn't look up Toronto friends though, because time was actually pretty tight. But it's so tough to be IN Toronto and not get together and chat with everyone. Next year, I say to myself. Next year. (isn't that what the Jews say at Passover? 'next year in Jerusalem...')

On Monday I went to the Dutch consulate office to renew my Dutch passport - and I said to Kendall on the way there, "I always meet someone I know at the Dutch consulate". I go once every 5 years, what are the odds? But sure enough, I met Eric, who I knew from ICS days in Toronto. He was representing his bike store and his new Dutch import bicycles. Very cool.

That Monday (March 12th) was our 2 year anniversary - and we celebrated with lunch at the Middle Eastern restaurant, who catered our wedding two years ago. It seemed a fine opportunity to us. :) (TWO YEARS! How delightful. It's been a good two years)

The following week, on Monday I was part of hosting Bryan Moyer Suderman in concert at my church, Kern Road Mennonite Church... and that was so much fun. Check out his post on his recent tour to find out more. That was a great deal of fun. I could go on for a while about how much I appreciate what he does with music, church, theology and kids. But perhaps that's another post for another time.

And then on Tuesday I had my senior interview, which is a dialogue with three professors regarding an integration paper on a topic that I am passionate about. I wrote about Sabbath (a huge surprise to those who know me even a little bit). It was a good paper, and I felt good about the interview. They affirmed me as prepared for graduation and said lovely things to me. It was a good experience, but I'm very glad to be able to check that off the 'list' when all's said and done.

This past weekend the sun came out. Ah, Spring. Spring is here at last!!!!! Sunday we played baseball! And we had a BBQ picnic, and stayed outside chatting well into the evening! And we didn't get that cold!

I like winter, but I am ready for spring. Hopefully soon I'll be able to post some beautiful spring blooms from the campus. This campus is gorgeous in springtime.

Well that's the scoop for now. I'll try to avoid a three-week hiatus in the future. CHEERS!

busy dreams

I've been having busy dreams lately. Ordinarily, I don't recall my dreams, so I tend to pay attention when the details stick with me. I'm not a dream expert by any means, but I understand that our dreams are where our psyche process what's going on in our lives. Images, scenes, characters - all these represent various parts of myself, and my efforts to come to wholeness and healing. At least, that's how I understand it.

So - I've had two interesting dreams in the last few nights. Well, I think they're interesting anyway.

Thursday night I dreamed that I was heading to Hamilton District Christian High School with my mother and my cousins Caroline and Cheryl ( from each side of my family) in order to work on a service project there. On the way there, we had to turn around. We had news that the project had shifted location. We were now headed to work on a cruise ship in Chicago - the cruise ship was going to be on its way to Milwaukee. Our job would be to sift and crush the garbage. Half the garbage was American and half was Canadian. We would be crushing the Canadian half, and an American team was caring for the other half of the garbage.

(since when do Christian work teams sift garbage on cruise ships between Chicago and Milwaukee? since when do cruise ships cruise between Chicago and Milwaukee? bi-national garbage sifting?)

Then last night I was on a train with the same folks - Caroline, Cheryl and my mother. The train had no engine, must have been propelled from behind. It had lovely glass windows and we could see in every direction. We were at a small town train station, and folks were crossing the tracks in order to board the train and disembark. Suddenly, around the bend came another train. It was on our track and headed for us. The light got very bright, and then it hit us. But we didn't crash, we just got sent back a ways, like we were in a bumper car ride. We got out of the train and walked back to the station to change trains.

I'm in the middle of some significant transitions in life; anticipating graduation and the beginning of my career as a pastor. We will be moving back to Canada from the US. I'm sure that's all part of this..

Well, we cooked up a lot of pancakes this evening! We had about 15 folks in our home over the evening and had a rich variety of toppings.... mmmmmm! I think I've had enough sugar to last me till Easter! We had a chicken-broccoli cream sauce, applesauce, peaches, strawberries, real maple syrup and more...

It was also Lucca's 2nd birthday. Happy Birthday, Lucca!

It was a lot of fun spending the evening with friends, even in the midst of a busy student schedule. Celebrations keep me going. I wonder who we'll spend Pancake Tuesday with next year?

Windchill Days...

The kids in this part of the world get 'Windchill Days'. It's not snowing or blizzarding, but they stay home because it's too cold outside (with the windchill factor). They've been home for two days now. The logic is that it's too cold for kids to wait for the bus or walk to school. Maybe I sound like a Canadian small-town kid who 'don't know nothin'... but I don't get it. It seems to me that this doesn't happen in Ontario (or anywhere in Canada). If someone can tell me differently, I'd like to hear about it.

It seems to me that the weather here in northern Indiana is pretty much identical to the weather in southern Ontario; what's different is the attitude. People in Ontario expect the cold, prepare for it, and 'tough it out'. Kids get bundled up and sent outside. sometimes recess gets cut short. Isn't it so, Canadians? Here, they stay in from recess if it's -5 celcius. That means they've been inside for recess over 2 weeks! (poor teachers, they must be going crazy...)

Now, the logic is that poorer kids don't have the warm hats, mitts and coats. Perhaps. But the issue isn't that clear. First off, let's get hats, mitts and coats for the kids...

But those same kids might be staying home on these days in under-heated houses. There's a possibility that if they can't afford hats, mitts and scarves, perhaps they can't afford heat. It's a very common problem. So they're sent home from school to stay in an underheated apartment.
And then - their parents have to wrestle with child care arrangements, possibly jeapordizing their employment (should they have employment). Are windchill days the best for these families?

I'm not convinced that wind-chill days are that good for the poorer kids in this community.
I think that the kids should be welcomed to school even in this weather, and that their valuable education shouldn't be disrupted by the cold. But I'm not from around here, so what do I know?

I've always loved snow days, being 'snowed in'. That always meant that I spent the day outside in the snow. I think if I had a 'windchill day' as a kid, I'd probably have spent a good chunk of it outside as well. I knew how to bundle myself up so no skin was showing... and how to fun in the snow. Sigh... perhaps I'm just nostalgic. Forgive me.

I'm still thoroughly enjoying the cold snap, and get out once a day for a 'tromp' around campus to enjoy the snow and the sun on the snow. It's so brilliant in this weather. I even need my sunglasses!

I'm a bit jealous of my dad, who's skiing for the week in BC with my uncle and cousin and some of his friends. He's apparently having a fabulous time - and who would doubt that? They're skiing around Kimberly, BC, staying at my cousin Pete Bootsma's chalet in the mountains. Fun. They've spent an evening at the hot springs as well.

Winter fun.